Maria Terase Lafreniere
Maria, 29 years of age, lives in Oakdale, Minnosota, with her two children. This is a short clip of Maria’s story.
Maria says she was “Scared, nervous, and sick to my stomach. Afraid people would see me differently and not treat me the way that I should be treated,” when she first had “The Conversation.”
Maria starts sharing her story by informing us of her upbringing and says, “I was raised as the oldest of five in a very strict Baptist home. My father is a minister as well as a nurse. We moved around a lot from state to state which made it difficult to cultivate long term friendships.”
When asked about when she contracted HIV, she said, “I am pretty sure that I contracted HIV in July of 2006. I was working in a group home and while hooking up an IV I was stuck by a needle. I never gave it a second thought until October 10, 2006 at 10 am. I found out that I was pregnant on October 1, 2006. While at the free clinic the doctor asked if I was okay with a HIV test. I said ‘sure.’ When I got in to see the doctor she said she had some bad news. She then looked at me and said you have HIV. I remember just sitting there for a few minutes saying over and over that I was going to die.”
Maria’s first conversations where with her father and family, thus saying, “The first thing I did when the doctor left the room was call my dad. I told him that I had HIV and there was no judgment at all. He was the first to tell me that I would not die if I controlled the disease properly with medication and diet. The rest of my family has not understood. My mother is angry with me, still blaming me for sleeping around. I did not, yet she does not believe me. My two brothers have been pretty distant about it. What does that say? My littlest brother, I think, is just really crushed. I have tried to talk with him about it yet he will not open up to me. One of the worst things about my conversation with family is that EVERYONE in my family including my grandmother knows I am positive without my consent.”
When asked about her first conversation with a friend she states, “I just tell people that I am positive if I think they need to know it. I have a best friend in Ohio. I told her I was positive almost immediately. I do not fit the stereotype, I suppose, of what people see when then think of HIV.”
She shared when she told her fiancé and said, “I called Jesse from the doctor’s office and asked him to meet me at home. I just got out of the car and cried while he held me. I told him I was HIV positive and he said we would get through this. We were terrified of him being positive … we waited for his results. He was negative. He has been nothing but supportive with my HIV.”
When asked ‘How do you feel now when you have the conversation?’ Maria responded, “A positive way to spread a little HIV education. I am finding that people in their 30’s in white suburbia think that this will never happen to them.“